considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
