I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
