I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
