It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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