You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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