I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
sex in a hospital.. check
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
