I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
