It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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