final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
