who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
