could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just found puke in my bra..
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize