I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I pour the whiskey from now on
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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