Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
