Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize