Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
