I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
