toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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