You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
