Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
