Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize