glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize