You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
