This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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