If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
