i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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