i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
