sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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