Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
