There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
