Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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