I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
