omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just invented taco cereal.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
