The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
