I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize
