Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
