Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
