Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Ladies don't puke and tell
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
