Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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