dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
