So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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