we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
