I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
