there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
