I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
