Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
my liver is dry heaving
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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