But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
