Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
