Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
