Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
