i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
