Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
