Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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