Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Two words: blizzard sex
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
