i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
