Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
