i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
