Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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