i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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