you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
