My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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